Steak

How I cook it. If you don't like this, then tough. I'm right, you're wrong. One day you will realise I am right and agree with me.

How to do it:

1. Buy a steak. I just get whatever's reduced-to-clear in Waitrose (their meat is very good, and extremely cheap if reduced). Ribeye is a fantastic cut. Look for fat marbling in the meat, that's good. "Braising" and "Frying" are not good for this type of cooking. Tell the butcher what you're going to do, and he'll let you know if the meat you're buying is right for it. Try to get it relatively thick, unless you're cooking fillet, when you want it practically spherical.
2. Rub some olive oil onto your steak. Don't be afraid to touch it, it's just meat.
3. Grind black pepper onto the steak. Maybe a bit of salt. You could add your favourite herbs or spices if you liked. I have some cajun stuff I sometimes add. You can't go wrong with just salt and pepper though, unless you oversalt. Leave it for a bit. Ideally your steak should be at room temperature when you start to cook it.
4. Get the pan really freakin' hot. I'm talking like sixth circle of hell kinda hot. Add a little oil.
5. Introduce the steak to the pan. Let it sit there, sizzling for a bit. Flip it over, the cooked side should be nicely browned, with some darker brown bits. If it's not, turn it back. If it is, let the steak sit on its back for a while. If you have a particularly thick steak (e.g. fillet) then you might want to use a pair of tongs to hold the steak on its side and fry the edges. All in all, you want the entire outside of the steak cooked really well, but the inside to be raw. No, that's not a typo. Raw, as in completely uncooked. 
6. Put it on a warm plate, in a warm place for a couple of minutes to rest.
7. Take the pan off the heat, and pour some red wine into the pan. This will immediately boil. Swirl it around and collect all the juice from the pan.
8. Serve it with chips, and salad. Pour all that lovely winey stuff over the food, wherever you please. Make sure some goes on the meat though.

Notes

• Steaks do not need to be cooked through, they just need the surface cooked. Germs cannot get inside the meat, just onto the surface, where you annihilate them with heat. If you've got really good quality meat, you don't need to cook it at all, and can make steak tartare.
• "If you cut me do I not bleed?" Well, yes, if you're a misquoted Shylock, but not if you're a good steak. A "bloody" steak is a crap steak. If it's good quality meat, there shouldn't be any blood in it at all, even if you cook it "bleu" as described above. If you cut it and it bleeds, it's crap, and hasn't been hung properly. Don't buy from that shop again.
• There is no point in buying a very expensive steak if you're just going to cook it into leather. You might as well start with something cheap if you're going to have it well-done and save your money. A cheaper steak will probably have more flavour anyway because it's a more well-used muscle, which makes it tougher (when rare), but more flavourful. 
• If you want it better done, you're wrong, because all you're doing is removing flavour and texture from your expensive food, but if you insist just turn the heat down a little bit, and let the meat sit on a lower heat for a bit longer. You can tell how cooked it is by how hard it is. Harder is cooked-er.
• Serve with a nice red wine. A Gran Reserva Rioja, perhaps, if it's a special occasion, which it is, because you're eating steak. Make whatever wine you choose heavy, rather than light.